Good Intentions, Bad Parenting

So this morning, Willow asked if we can put up a tent in the living room.  This not being my favorite idea ever, I worked on heading her off--suggesting playing outside, or making a smaller-and-more-easily-dismantled fort.  Willow really really reheheally wanted a tent.  I tried again: "Sweetie, the tent was more of a special occasion thing.  Remember when you were really sick with a bad taste* and a high fever?  We set the tent up then, since we couldn't go do fun things like play at the playground, but you can now, so let's go do that..."

I know.  Alarm bells, ABORT, ABORT, ABORT!  But I am apparently deaf, because I didn't see this coming: "Mommy, I have a really bad taste, we have to set up the tent."

Well, crap.

I figured I'd better lock this down right now, and hopefully prevent years of "Mommy, I have a really bad taste, I can't possibly go to school."  So I said, "Now, Willow, you don't have a bad taste, and I know this because at breakfast you ate a truckload of food without complaint, and anyway that's not a reason to set up the tent.  You shouldn't tell me something if it isn't true, and you don't have a bad taste, so don't say that you do."

"YES I DO HAVE A BAD TASTE I DO I DO YES I DO HAVE A BAD TASTE!"

More crap.

"Okay!  Take a breath, sweetie.  Let's talk about this--we can...(internal sigh) we can set up the tent if you really want to, but that has nothing to do with you having a bad taste, and I'm sorry I confused you.  But I need you to stop saying you have a bad taste when you don't."

"YES I DO HAVE A BAD TASTE!"

Deep breath.  "Willow, if you keep saying you have a bad taste when you don't, then we can't set up the tent."

Wild screaming hysteria.

"Snacktime!  Have a plum, Willow.  And let's go read a story about playing outside!" 

Plum.  Story.  Smile.

"Would you like to go play outside now?"

"Yes!"

Whew.

Have I learned nothing about toddlers?  Nothing at all?  I KNOW that a lot of the time, reason doesn't work, I KNOW that Willow will dig in her heels pointlessly when challenged, I KNOW that ultimatums are only confusing and crazy-making. 

And lest we think this blew over with a little playground running and jumping, as soon as we came home, Willow said: "I have a bad taste let's set up the tent."




*Sore throat.