Mobility

I have a confession to make:  I don't have a driver's license.  I had one, long ago, before I moved to the land of subway trains and irritable drivers, and well before I married one of those irritable drivers, thereby enabling me to go wherever I wanted without having to look up from my knitting.  It really was a nice dandy little set-up, and I didn't miss driving at all.


Until this past Winter.  When I was stuck housebound while Dave was at work, and it was too cold to walk anywhere with a baby, and so we literally went nowhere.  This was true for all of last year, but Willow was so young that it didn't matter that much, but now that she runs around and is about as bored as can be with all but the most forbidden nooks and crannies in our house, going places is an absolute necessity.  We're all dressed up with nowhere to go!

So a week ago, I went and got my driver's permit.  This process involved standing in a total of six lines in two locations in Hudson County, and then taking a test--which I nearly failed.  If I had gotten one more question wrong, I would have had to do it again.

Mind you, though I have not driven in some time, questions relating to driving were  not the ones I had trouble with.  No, it was questions like "Beer, Wine, Mixed Drinks or Whiskey cause more accidents?"  Or my favorite, "Which sign means railroad crossing?"  And then not listing the sign that means railroad crossing.  By the time I got to the last question, the question I had to get right or be stamped with a giant F across  my chest, I was in an adrenalized panic.  And the question was poorly worded.  It had a double negative, and so the answer to the question written was not one of the choices.  I was so freaked out, I went to the front desk to plead and explain that I know the answer, listen to me telling you the answer, but the question is worded weirdly and don't you understand about double negatives and I can't get this one wrong, so please, please which one should I pick?

They were somewhat sympathetic, but the best they could offer was "pick one."

I passed by assuming that whoever wrote the test was illiterate and didn't mean to use a double negative.

I feel entirely confident in my state of New Jersey driving.  Can't you tell?