The Week in Which I Did All The Things I'm Not Supposed To Do

You know how, when I first discovered I was pregnant, I bought tofu and buckets of spinach and kale and brown rice and was going to--how did What To Expect put it? Consume my necessary calories in the best possible way. Each bite was going to be the "best bite I could give my baby."

I redefined "best bite" this week.

What To Expect's suggestion/Nikki's actual consumption:

low-fat tuna in water/fried oysters with extra fries
whole grain toast with all-natural peanut butter/boston creme donut
sparkling water/beer
glass of 2% milk/bowl of clam chowder
carrot sticks for snacking/2 RAW oysters
oranges for snacking/Texas cake
quinoa with spinach/Texas cake with ice cream

I don't think I had any vegetables at all. Unless you count the fries. And white flour and refined sugar were plant-derived at some point, right?

But see, we were on vacation on Cape Cod. And if there's anything Cape Cod has to offer, it's food. Good food. Good, fried food. Now that I'm home, I'm back on task. I had cabbage salad with chicken for dinner last night, a tuna sandwich for lunch today.

And steak for dinner tonight. And we threw out the last of the uneaten tofu. My "on task" like my "best bite" differs slightly from What To Expect's.

We did do other things besides eat. We went to the beach (often). We read. We played dominoes. We went for walks.

We admired the beauty.

We admired the wildlife.

We posed for dorky pictures to either reenact dorky pictures of the past (Toaster) or emulate Professor Fate's half-a-mustache (RockNoodle).

We spent the rest of the time looking absurdly attractive.

We came home and collapsed from exhaustion.